


Flight

by IAmFeathers



Category: Casualty (TV)
Genre: Depressing, Emotional Hurt, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 10:43:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5825485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmFeathers/pseuds/IAmFeathers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm sorry, Jack,"<br/>I breathed, and walked away from him for the last time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flight

Ethan just needs to get away from the ED. He decides to get a job and move to Australia. At the airport, someone comes running after him. It’s then he realises just how much he’ll have to leave behind.

 

“Ethan wait...” He pleaded. I recognised that voice. The only voice which had spoken naught but kindness to me. The voice which had whispered countless words of sweetness into my ear. The only voice which seemed to be quiet and listen.  
“Jack, don’t make this any harder than it is already.” I pleaded. I couldn't hurt him- not after all he’s done for me and not after I discovered the feelings of which I harboured towards him. That’s why I just had to get this over with.

I had hoped that I wouldn't see him on my departure. I knew that news often spread quickly about the ED, but I had no idea that people- such as Jack- would react so quickly. I’d left a note to Caleb outside his apartment and as for my colleagues... I’d hoped for the best. Whether or not they understood would no longer be my immediate concern once I left, as I was starting a fresh life elsewhere in the world. As a break in the voices surrounding me- an announcement from the speakers to be exact- blared aloud, I was reminded of the purpose of my being here.

“Don’t do this,” Jack insisted. There was a tone of worry in his voice, both that and desperation. It wasn't that I didn't like him (very much the opposite); I just couldn't bear to turn around. I couldn't bear to see the look of sorrow on the face of the man of whom I had come to love. By now, I was sure that my inchoate expression of blankness had ceased and been replaced by one of longing and downcast misery.

He continued, “Please, Ethan,” He whispered, I still hadn't turned to face him. “The moment you board that plane, there’s no turning back.” Was he... crying?  
I turned around. Jack looked dejected- I was certain that I mirrored this expression. We were in an airport. I had been offered a job in Australia and had accepted. I couldn't live here any more- not with my life how it is.  
“I-“ my speech broke and I suddenly found it difficult to speak. “I can’t stay here,” by now I was sure that tears were running down my cheeks, Jack tried to approach me, but I stepped back. “Somebody died because of me.”

“Ethan it wasn't your-” Jack began. He gave me a look of pleading desperation. I cut him off.  
“But it was my fault!” I shouted, enraged and uncaring of the other people around me. I just couldn't stay here. I couldn't be where people didn't care who lived and who died. As long as they got paid it didn't matter to them. I couldn't live with that. “A man died because I didn't stay with him.” I let out a choked sob, why did it have to be him here? Couldn't it someone else? Anyone else? Why did it have to be Jack- the man which I’d developed feelings for? “And a young girl was abused for months because I’d failed to see what as before me. Nobody cares, Jack,” I whispered, “Nobody cares about what they've gone through... I've done so much wrong.”

“”Please, Ethan,” Jack said, “We can figure it out,” the look on his face was one of sorrow. I was the cause of that sorrow. After today, he’d never have to see me again. I couldn't hurt him or anyone else who I love- perhaps it really is better that I go... Jack finished. “Just stay.”  
“Jack I...” I began, but the words could hardy form themselves. I tightened my grip around the leather strap of my bag in frustration. “I want to stay, but I can’t.” I’d made up my mind. I was going to go to Australia- I couldn't bring myself to hurt Caleb, my friends, or Jack any more-I had to leave.

I was about to turn away and continue the walk towards my platform, but mid-pivot Jack called out to me.  
“Do you know how much we-” He paused “how much I care about you.”  
My breath caught in my throat. He couldn't care about me. I didn't deserve it. All I wanted was to tell him that I love him. Would it hurt him if I just said so? “Jack, I have to leave.” My breathing heightened as I attempted to hold back the tears which threatened to spill.  
He attempted to come towards me, I turned away and he took my hand, stopping me in my tracks. My emotions got the better of me and a tear ran down my cheek.

“Ethan,” Jack whispered, despair evident within his voice, “there are people who care about you here.” His voice showed a slight tremor of sadness. “Your brother cares about you, the staff care about you...” Another pause “I care about you.”  
“Jack please,” I spoke. Leaving the sentence to finish itself. I tugged my hand away from his and began to walk away, a certain sadness entering my footing. I pulled my coat closer towards my body and adjusted the scarf around my neck, breathing heavily.

“Ethan I love you!” Jack shouted over the crowds of people.  
I stopped with shock and my feet were rooted to the ground. How I wanted to say it back, but I felt I didn't have it in me. I wasn't good for him and would only end up hurting him in the end- just in the same way as the suicidal man and the abused young girl. Jack needed his happiness and I’d had a shot at mine- I just didn't deserve it any more. I loved him, I really did. That’s why this needed to be done.

“I'm sorry, Jack...” I breathed, and walked away from him for the last time.


End file.
